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Michaela (00:00):
Hey, welcome back to the show is McKayla light here on the intuitive leadership mastery podcast. And I'm here with Jessica Huntington and we're both at healing house in Peru and she has an amazing story around manifesting money to share with us and she had a few problems with it. Um, so we'll talk about those. And if you don't know Jessica, she is a transformational coach, right. Would say, and you help people shift through changes and transformations in their businesses and lives that is accurate. Yes. And I'm originally from California though, currently.
Jessica (00:33):
Yeah. San Francisco, California, and living here in Cusco, Peru for the time being.
Michaela (00:38):
Yay. So, uh, when I met you the other day, you were having a bit of a meltdown, um, tell us why, what happened?
Jessica (00:46):
Yeah, I was unfolding a bit. So, um, I, I'm in a phase of my business development and my personal growth, understanding where I've been focusing and a lot of my attention on abundance and bringing money into my life and attracting clients. And I'm really letting go of the starving artist mindset that I've been living in for a really long time. And so, um, and connecting to my magic and my ability to, um, manifest and bring energy to me. And, uh, about, I guess it was a week, almost a week ago, I was on the bus and I had just gotten paid for four weeks of work, uh, that I had completed and I got paid in cash and, uh, so great. It felt amazing. It felt really good. And when it was handed to me, it was said, you know, may this multiply. And I said, it absolutely will.
Jessica (01:46):
And I put it in my bag. And, um, and then I went on the bus and, uh, as I was getting off of the bus, the woman behind me unzipped my zipper on my backpack and took my wallet out of my backpack in the 30 seconds that it took me to get off the bus. So by the time I got off the bus, pretty soon after I got off the bus, I realized what had just happened. So it did take the time when it was happening. I didn't know. Yeah. I, there was one of those, like what it could have shadows where I, you know, I was like, if only I had turned around right. Notice what was happening. Um, so that thought along with a lot of others, um, really started racing through my mind. Um, I actually immediately went into, um, kind of like a problem solving, moving perspective into gratitude because I noticed that in the same pocket that my wallet was in, I also had my cell phone that is, you know, expensive stuff, phone and attached to my cell phone is like my ID and my credit cards and all of that.
Jessica (02:51):
So I'll get that. She didn't get that, she didn't do that. She just took the wallet with a lot of cash. And so I noticed that I was, you know, essentially counting my blessings, you know, really thinking about, okay, well I'm S, you know, it wasn't a violent attack and I still have my cell phone and I've got all my cards and all the things that would have been really hard to replace and telling myself, like I didn't lose anything that I can't create or bring back into my life. And, um, and kind of went into almost a little bit of that like survival, get through it, like power through that point I had no cash on me. So, um, I had probably about like a 15 minute walk from my bus stop to healing house, um, which is where I was heading. And so for these 15 minutes while I was walking, I was just like flooding with a lot of different emotions and trying to navigate everything that comes up when you're violated.
Jessica (03:51):
And so, you know, that kind of emotions were you feeling? Great question. I was feeling first and foremost, I was feeling violated. I felt a lot of embarrassment and I felt a lot of shame come up as well. Um, a lot of like personal blame of what a coulda, shoulda, I should have taken it out. I shouldn't have had it in my back pocket, like of my backpack. All of these things where I could have done something differently in order to not have had that happen. And also frustration and anger at the person who stole from me. And then in addition to those feelings, I was also feeling a lot of compassion, honestly. Um, for trying to give myself compassion, to be present with my emotions and to have compassion for the person who stole. Cause immediately what I, what I realized I was thinking was I hope that something bad happens from them spending that money that they stole.
Jessica (04:49):
And then I, and then I thought to myself, I don't actually, I don't actually want that. I don't want to put that energy out there if they're in a state in their life where they're stealing from people, not as not a happy, comfortable place to be in. And I don't want to be wishing anyone any more harm. Um, and really just thinking that I was grateful for being in a place where I didn't feel the need to steal and that person did. And so navigating that, all of that, all of us as a 15 minute walk to healing house, um, yeah, you know, like sadness, a lot of, I was also trying to um, recognize where I was feeling like I was, I did like an energy like body scan and I recognize that I was holding so much tension in my throat and my chest was super, super tight.
Jessica (05:35):
It was hard for me to like breathe and scan for people. I'm done. That just means you are scanning through every, from the top to the bottom of your body and noticing what you notice. Exactly. I'm just taking the time to really come within and notice. Yeah. From top to bottom, you, I sometimes also go bottom to top. Literally like BP, how are we doing? How are we doing? How are we doing? Um, and really noticing like what does it feel like in this place of my body? Where am I holding tension? Where does this, where needs
Michaela (06:06):
and why would you do that? Instead of just realizing that you had stuff in your throat and heart, right? Why would you scan for stuff?
Jessica (06:14):
Um, to me it's a way to really slow down and get more present with myself and, um, to notice I think that, uh, I know that I carry, I've had, um, in the past I would carry around energy and tension without realizing it, um, until, you know, somebody would be like, relax your jaw. And I'm like, Whoa. Like I had no idea that I was even clenching, you know? And so by doing that practice of, um, noticing where I'm holding tension and actually taking the moment to like breathe into it, I can really become aware of where I'm holding and clenching and then also recognizing, you know, when stuff like that happens, recognizing where I'm holding it in my body allows me to be able to bring more like compassion and love and, and into myself and into those places. Um, so it's, yeah, and awareness, I think
Michaela (07:09):
awareness, more consciousness. And you know, just what we're talking about this, you know, people listening may not have their cash stolen, but you may have other business setbacks happen. You know, it's, you're an entrepreneur and you know, it's easy to go through a cascade of negative emotions. So I think that's a great takeaway to just take a moment and I love how you worked out. You were taking a walk because I find walking is such great way to process emotions. So it was kind of lucky that you, your boss stopped 15 minutes away so you had enough time to get some exercise, get some air.
Jessica (07:44):
Yeah, definitely. I think that it had its pros and cons too. You know, like being able to have that time to walk and process and kind of reflect. I was able to really utilize that time and kind of move energy. And on the other end I didn't feel super safe. You know, like I was very, I wasn't, I was by myself. I, this thing had just happened to me and I felt like I was also navigating, trying to protect myself and like, you know, keep up energetic things. And I, I didn't feel, I think because of being in public immediately after this happened, I wasn't, I didn't feel comfortable to really like dive super deep into everything and so I was very much immediately and like, everything's fine, we're good. You know, like, hold up, hold it together, hold it, hold it together. Yeah. Strong woman covered up with Alma. Y'all. Yeah. It was like my, my intuition tapped into this is like what is needed for you to like navigate through this space
Michaela (08:49):
that's really, you felt like, you know, breaking down, crying, having a tantrum and a probably some other things,
Jessica (08:56):
some other things. Yeah. I mean I think that too, like the shame blocked a lot of that as well. Like recognizing
Michaela (09:04):
where did the same come from? I know you said you still cooked what you could have done it differently, but was it an echo of earlier shame or
Jessica (09:11):
I think sh I mean I, I believe that shame hides itself inside of us all like all the time and that it continues to build and if we don't work on it and work through it, then anything that can trigger shame will immediately like, it's like in this little area, shame comes up and then like it links to the other shame that we're holding as well. So it can definitely
Michaela (09:33):
a tank where you store your shame body and it fills up just like a, um, what's that thing that toilets go into? A no, a tank. Some people have in the house it's getting what they call a, but anyway you've got on your RV or whatever. We have a tank, you have to empty air and just shame is like a tank full of shit. If you don't empty it, it can be triggered at any point. So a good time for you, I apologize for the noise in the background. If you guys listening can hear that, where they're doing a little construction trade off, being in a beautiful garden and so forth. Just let us know as you're listening. If you can't hear us, we'll speak on, okay. So how do you ever hack you empty your shame tank? I'm curious now. You know?
Jessica (10:23):
Yeah. Um, compassion. Oh, I th I, I, it's been a big thing to me in the last, I would say five years, um, where I've made the decision to really recognize and understand the shame that I was holding on to and recognize that a lot of the shame wasn't actually mine. It wasn't mine. No, I was Tang. I was, I was holding other people's shame. California regulation was a bit, you know, yeah, it gets a little a gash a little bit, but yeah, not much. But recognizing, you know, that, you know, I being being, you know, um, a very like flamboyant youth and very creative and um, eccentric. Um, I would get looks from people or people would try and normalize more, you know, like I would wear a really crazy skirt to school and then somebody would say something about it and I'm like, Oh, it's not safe to do that.
Jessica (11:23):
And then like shame about like my own true expression of myself. And so it wasn't that I, I actually had shame about it. Somebody else put their beliefs on me about what is correct or right. And I was just, and then I decided, I agreed to it, I took it, they gave it to me and I was like, okay, this is wrong. So it takes two to fill up the shame tank. It does. Yeah. If somebody hands you their shame, you can just, I'm just imagining a head came here. Maybe it's a Brown kind of slate mushy. Yeah. Yeah. You can just be like, no thanks. No thing. I don't need any of that. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks for today. I'm emptying. I'm running on an empty tank of shame. Oh, there you go.
Jessica (12:15):
Yeah. So I think that, you know, um, I think too, when things happen, I get, cause I, this isn't the first time in my life that there's been some sort of violation of my personal space. Um, and I think I need your money and I know, and money, I mean, even if you'd left the handbag somewhere else and they hadn't come near you physically, I think I might have still felt violated if someone had taken my money. Absolutely. You know? Yeah. I've had somebody come into my home before when I wasn't there and then when I came home I was like, it's still a very violated [inaudible] from where I was living. It feels very violating. I don't, I don't feel safe, you know? Yeah. So doubly so if there's a backpack when you're back. Yeah. And it happens on your person incredibly. So if they kind of punch you around to take care or threaten you or whatever. So. Exactly. Yeah. Wow. So anyway, coming back to where we were you when you were walking along carrying this full tank of slang, Seamus flashed around, it was scheduled with your anger and sadness and guilt and all kinds of other emotions. How did that feel having so many emotions going around inside you all at once with your armor on? Yeah. Holding it all in together. Heavy and hot. Heavy, heavy and hot.
Jessica (13:39):
So you made it through this walk? Yeah. And then I made it here to healing house and I walked in the front doors, um, and McKayla was, was standing at the reception desk with another one of our coworkers and they asked me, how are you doing Jessica? And I was like, well, not great. I'm okay. I'm not great. And I started explaining what had happened. And um, as soon as I started talking about it, it was like all the tightness and heaviness that I was carrying around in my chest. And my throat just like came out of my eyes through tears. And I think it's because, Oh, I know. It's because I felt like I was in a safe space that could be held. It was a container where I could kind of let down some guards and let down some, yeah. Some of those like protection shields.
Jessica (14:29):
And I think too, like it was spinning around in my head, spinning around in my head, spinning around my head. And then when I actually started verbalizing it out loud, it became a little bit more real. And it was, um, emotional. Yeah, it was definitely a lot of emotions. Um, and I am all for letting it rip. I'm all about like, if I need to cry, I need to cry. I want to let it, I want to let it out. I like tears and energy in tears have an energy. And if they're, if it's feeling like it's wanting to come out, then that's energy that needs to be released. If we suppress it, it just stays. It needs to come out in some [inaudible]
Michaela (15:04):
sort of, I think tears have chemicals in them. Toxins, things. Often when people haven't cried for a long time, the tears are painful. Um, and they do release stuff from the body. Yeah, absolutely. But yeah, energetically there's a lot of big release with tears or laughing or crying, whatever people do when they're angry, hit pillows or whatever, scream, scream, that's gone. Yeah. Shake. So anyway, you were, you were crying a little bit. Yeah, I started
Jessica (15:37):
two and then right at that point a yoga class started getting out right into the area. [inaudible]
Michaela (15:42):
I was like, no. Well you didn't say that. No, but I think you picked up on that. I did. I can tell you were inhibiting yourself. I was, that was starting to hold back again. I was going back into protective shell mode. Yeah. So I just said, I didn't even speak to the tears. I just said, would you like to go into the garden? And I said, yes, I would really like that. And so he came and sat actually like right to see where the grass is burnt from the comment that came out. No, I'm just kidding. Um, so you did some more expressing, was that helpful to express it and if so, how? Why was it particularly helpful? Yeah,
Jessica (16:28):
that was really helpful. And I, what was really lovely was that you were able to create a space to ask questions and really listened to what was coming up and then repeat back what you were hearing coming, um, coming up. So that I can kind of hear and, and correct me, like, no, actually it's, it's more like this and, and also just to be seen and witnessed and heard, which is so important. Um, and one of the things, you know that I work so hard on doing for other people, you know, it's like a main part of my, what I figure is my offering to this world is creating space for people to be seen and witnessed and heard. Um, because it is absolutely powerful. And so that was the space that you were able to create for me to start talking through, um, and asking and answering those questions of like how I was feeling and what was coming up.
Jessica (17:18):
And I expressed to you that one of the things that, um, I was feeling was that because I had, had really recently leaned into this abundant mindset into letting go of the starving artist and to really bring money into me and do visualizations of money coming through, like to me and through me and cultivating that and really connecting back again to my magic and my ability to, um, create my own reality through my intentions and my choices to really focus on that. And then to have money still stolen right when I got paid, made what it, what was brought up for me was this feeling like, wow, I'm bad at manifesting. Like I suck at this. Like, what, why is this happening? Why when I'm trying to cultivate money, would I lose it? And so I think that there was also some, um, I don't know, a combination of like, or a bears meant shame, lack of confidence in, um, in my ability to create abundance. Um,
Michaela (18:27):
all entrepreneurs have experienced that, you know, we do spur work and, or practical work to bring new clients and money in. And then we tell them how to invest some mater expense or some other reason for the money to go right back out again. Absolutely. That's not uncommon. Yeah.
Jessica (18:43):
Yeah. So I think that it was important to recognize what it was, what was coming up for me. And then what I remembered was that the universe likes to test.
Michaela (18:56):
Oh yes. Yeah, yeah. So you've, you've tried on this new pair of abundance clothing and the university wants to check that it really does fit well and you're going to hang onto it and not just straight go again and go back into the racks of the starving artist.
Jessica (19:10):
They're like, how badly? How, how deeply do you actually believe us? You know? Um, and how easy is it going to be for you to give that up? You know? And that's, that's I think one of the messages that when I, when I opened up to really ask like, okay, like what, what is this here to teach me? You know, like, what is,
Michaela (19:29):
let's repeat that as a great question. Say that question again. Jessica is here to teach me. So instead of getting angry with the universe or God or whatever you want to call it, you're asking, Hey, this thing that was painful has happened. What is it here to teach me?
Jessica (19:44):
Absolutely. And that comes from something that one of my, and I liked it when these things happen, I like to really come back to my beliefs. What do I truly believe? And one of the things that I truly believe is that the world is happening for me. It's not happening to me.
Michaela (19:59):
Oh, I love that. Well, it's happening for me. What does that mean to you? It means
Jessica (20:04):
everything is unfolding for my, my development, for my evolution, for the greater good. Um, and to support where I'm putting my attention and my energy. It's not that, you know, these things are happening to me. Like I'm a victim in my life. I don't believe in, um, and tapping into a victim mindset and really believe in that.
Michaela (20:29):
So many people do go to victim complaining and you know, poor me. Yeah, it's definitely a big part of our culture. We told that. Is there a special class? You guys works high school. We pick Tim hood one Oh one I think it's passed down from generation to as like
Jessica (20:48):
a survival technique honestly. Yeah.
Michaela (20:52):
But I think they do teach it in school subtly. You know, there's a lot of things they teach in schools that's not on the curriculum really get you to give us a short list. I have my own list of things that I should be taught. I'm curious what I think should be done. [inaudible] aren't a good idea.
Jessica (21:11):
Um, so conformity for why I think that conformity is taught in schools, um, that it's safer to fit in then to stand out. Um, I think that another thing that has been, and this is my own personal experience with school, I think that another thing that's taught is that your worth is based on your grade and like how well you can perform. Yes.
Michaela (21:36):
I'm afraid there could be both an a, B, C or D or it could also be how well you perform in the sports team or whatever the thing is.
Jessica (21:44):
Yeah. And your worth is equivalent. Yeah, exactly. It's external
Michaela (21:48):
as opposed to intrinsic. It's you worthy,
Jessica (21:51):
which is what I believe no matter what, no matter what right now in this moment you are whole and you are worthy. I don't care how far you can kick the football or how good you can write that essay, like you are worthy. And I don't believe that that is taught.
Michaela (22:05):
So conformity, uh, intrinsic and extrinsic worth is what they teach in the high school. What else did they teach the snow on the curriculum but affects people's ability to have a successful
Jessica (22:17):
mm, that's a good question.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
[inaudible]
Michaela (22:25):
so the, the idea that you have to learn a subject before you're allowed to do anything with it, I think is that rather than you could experiment and see what works.
Jessica (22:35):
Yeah. And there's a right way of doing things as well, you know, a right way of, like a right way of learning. You know, like they say, you know, there's this right way of doing things. Um, and absolutely agree. Like being able to just experiment and play rather than being focused on being right. You know, or perfect.
Michaela (22:57):
Yeah. I was going to say this leads to perfectionism, which a lot of people have and is not really a useful skill for business. I mean, it's good to do things well, you know, but it's getting to doing your best for your customers and yourself and your staff. But knowing that our best changes every day. Um, but people get stuck. I know. I do. You know, I don't even get started on a task. It has to be on perfect when really if I actually sat down and did it, it might be done in 10 minutes. Like, Oh, it was that easy.
Jessica (23:29):
Yeah. I just had, um, a breakthrough with this actually in my business because I was taught perfectionism and that you need to do things perfectly. And so I really felt like I couldn't put anything out there and offer anything until it was perfect. Like I needed to work through it. We've got all the kinks, like, get it perfect before I can put it out. And um, and again, coming back to this like, what am I really believe? And I'm like, you know, I actually don't believe that you have to make it perfect. I think that you can evolve with your offering and the best way to do that is just to start putting it out there. And so yeah, at the beginning of this year, I had something that I was going to offer and I knew that it was, it had room for growth, but I wanted to let it grow alongside with us instead of needing to make sure those were, because I felt like if I wait for things to be perfect, then it will never,
Michaela (24:18):
it might never come out. And then you won't have helped the people you could have done in the time you didn't put it out. Um, any other things that come to mind that get taught in school that get in people's way of running their business?
Jessica (24:31):
Mm. You know, I'm sure I could probably come up with a lot if I had time to sit and write about it, but, um, nothing's really coming to mind for me right now. Somebody for you,
Michaela (24:39):
listeners let us know in the comments if anything comes to you. I will tell you one other thing that comes to me, which is, uh, punishments. There's a lot of punishment in school, either shaming or physical punishment or standing in the corner or whatever. And, um, I think we internalize that and then start, you know, beating ourselves up in our own head around stuff so it's not good enough or we're not good enough and then it's very hard to take action in our business. But that little voice going on
Jessica (25:09):
that actually reminds me of something too. Thanks. Is that, um, I think so much, um, is put on this whole like trying to fit in thing where it's hard to stand out and because I appreciate that about you. I do. And, uh, where I know that when I was younger, that definitely happened where I started, you know, I realized that by being different and being eccentric and being, you know, like putting out like my play, um, I got bullied, you know? And so it made me feel like the more I put myself out there, the more people that see me, the more people can hurt me. And so it's like that visibility, right, that it's not safe to be seen. And if you really believe that, then you're not going to put yourself out there.
Michaela (26:02):
Yeah. Not going to write that book because people might criticize it. Exactly. Yeah. Not going gonna make that video because people might laugh. Yeah. Yeah. That's a very big one for a lot of people called grow my business too big or successful. Cause people might be envious or angry,
Jessica (26:19):
right? Yeah. You'll separate yourself from people,
Michaela (26:22):
right? Yeah. What a disabling, uh, saying let schools teach that, I think they call it the tall poppy syndrome. Among other things, the tool poppy will be cut down and that's a Japanese saying they have a particularly constricting form of education in Japan. Stay the same. Stay the same. Yes. Yeah. We'll be on the good behavior. Um, another thing I've noticed in schools is the everything from by bells, you know, you, the lesson begins when the bell goes and then even if you're excited about something, bell rings and you have to stop working on it and then flip to something else instead of continuing on something you're really into. Yeah. So um, there's probably some other things as well. We'll think about it anyway.
Jessica (27:05):
Oh I'm having another one and there's more, there's more. It was came to me cause I'm thinking about how it, how in school it's like you wake up, you were like have to be at school by like seven or eight and then you're in school all day. Like going from class to class, working, working, working with a lot, not a lot of breaks. And then you're loaded with a bunch of homework that you have to do as soon as you get home. And so the time that you have the time that I had when I was in school for like free downtime rest time was very minimal. It was like work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, study, work, work, work, work. And, um, I feel like for me, I like to be able to choose a life where I get to put my work out there and put like dedicated time into my creation so that I can live a life of joy and play and rest as well. So like, so I think that work life balance.
Michaela (27:59):
Thank you. But I hope you guys can hear the birds in the background. So beautiful. Um, yeah, that's very true of schools don't give downtime to have creativity and inspiration and connection to your own intuition. Yeah. Um, I think partly because they want to train little work robots to go, you know, work in offices not to create their own businesses. So that would be too upsetting. And also people who are independent and creative would be harder to control. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the modern school system, as I understand it was started, uh, in Germany and the United States, uh, about 140 years ago or maybe something like that. And they did it because they needed citizen short soldiers. And if you're going to have someone fight for your country and possibly get short at the maimed or Hill, they'd better be able to pay orders without question.
Michaela (28:49):
And so the school system was designed to create people who could read and write and do enough arithmetic. They could be competent soldiers or factory workers, but not, not be troublemakers. Yes. Yeah. Anyway, we've gone off on a little bit of a tangent there, but we're very interested. Yes. It was very interesting to me. Yeah. Um, so we, you know, I held space for you. Um, you know, just to clarify, people want to get someone to hold space for them or they want to hold space somewhere else. Uh, what are the key things you think? Cause you're a coach yourself. You know how to hold space. One are the key things for holding space. What should you do? What should you not do?
Jessica (29:28):
Listening is key. Really giving the person space. If you ask them, how are you doing or can you tell me what you know that's real for you in that right now? How are you feeling? And listen. Um, and
Michaela (29:42):
that may not just be the words to it might be their expression or what they're not saying. Yep, absolutely. Or the tone of voice. I'm also not to go right into fixing mode. Yes. No fixing, I would say no fixing, no solutions, no and no stories by yourself. Correct. Yeah. Cause that's a form of fixing, right? When you say, Oh, this happened to me and I did this.
Jessica (30:07):
Yeah. It's, it's a really beautiful skill to be able to just witness somebody and um, you know, with compassion and an open ear and um, and validate, you know, like that sounds really frustrating and really hard.
Michaela (30:24):
Yeah. So mirroring back in your own words, what you heard. Yeah. A dating. Yeah. And then I would include under clued, under fixing when someone's crying, you know, trying to comfort them and hovering them tissues, putting your arm around them in order to stop them crying cause it's uncomfortable to them. So the listener,
Jessica (30:42):
right. Like S like people can feel when you're uncomfortable because they're crying. I don't think that there's anything wrong with like, you know, giving somebody a tissue or, or like rubbing their back or something like that if it feels like that seems appropriate. Um, but, um, I, I like to let people know, like, let, let it out. You know, I like to say like, this is a safe space. You can be however you feel like you need to be and I'll just hold the container for you and let me know if you need anything.
Michaela (31:11):
Yeah. So holding a container for me means I'm kind of the neutral, godlike observer and I'm not, you know, I'm just noticing these emotions coming out, listening to them, but I'm not kind of taking them into my own little shame tank where I store all my stuff. Um, so it's sort of like that. If you've ever studied a KIDO, um, that's where, you know, it's not Japanese martial art where you, someone's going to hit you and you kind of at last moment, step out of the way and watch their punch go sideways. Um, and the same thing with a strong global emotions. I can observe it or I can take it into my heart. And for me, when I'm doing this neutral observer, I'm observing the emotions. I'm not trying to EMP, you know, um, what's the word? Yeah. I'm not trying to emphasize, I'm not trying to take it into my body and feel it in my body so I can be compassionate. Absolutely. You know, but I'm not trying to take it on. I'm not taking it on. And that's a very subtle distinction that I think a lot of people get stuck on. Yeah. You felt like a very safe container.
Michaela (32:15):
So having expressed this, and I know you expressed it with another person here as well in different ways, um, to bring us to how you turn this around. What, what did you do after you cleared out all this energy in your throat and chest and all those emotions and emptied out your shame tank?
Jessica (32:34):
Yeah, so, um, I, this happened in the morning. I had the whole day to process. Um, and I recognize that, um, there would be moments where I'm like, okay, I'm actually feeling, I'm feeling good, like I'm feeling, um, like I've processed through and then all was, I knew it would like hit me again and I would get that lump in my throat or I remember like how much money I had lost. Like I had stolen from me. Like a big amount of money for you. Yes. Yeah. This was, this was a big amount of money. Yeah. It was a game changer. Yeah. So, um, you know, and I also, the other thing was, um, when I come back to like what I believe in and how I like to live my life is through trust. Like I really like trust. I want to lean into, um, trusting that I am held and that everything will work out and then I'm held. Um, and I assume you mean there is that right? Both that and my community. I think that I have, um, a lot of people in my life that I love and that love me. And, um, the connections that I've been able to create with my family and my friends and the people that I've worked with. Um, I know that there are people supporting me and that will go a whole day when I need to
Speaker 4 (34:01):
or lay down. I'll, I'll, I'll speak up a little bit. Um, yeah, book.
Jessica (34:21):
I noticed that it would come in phases so I would feel calmness in my body and then it would come back up. And then that night I had a really hard time sleeping, just like, it's still lots of things moving through and just like what I felt was really important was to hold the space for the emotions that were coming up. So instead of feeling like I needed to suppress them and pretend like they weren't there, I got curious with them and I was like, okay, what are you here to show me? Like, let me give compassion to this and talk it through, you know, and instead of being like, don't feel this way, you know, tough it out, suck it up. Like, get over it. It's fine to really think about, um, uh, compassion for all of my feelings and that they're coming from a place for a reason.
Jessica (35:10):
And the best thing that I can do is just similarly be a container to hold the space to just witness so that I can, so that I can release. And that brings up another thing that I really have been believing in a lot, which is you have to lean in in order to move through. Oh, let's say I have to lean in to move through. Yeah. Lean in to move through. And what does that mean to you? That you listened to you emotions and feel them or, yeah, I feel them. I get curious. Um, when there are things that bring about fear instead of ignoring them or turning away or, you know, I, you know, I choose to lean in, I say, okay, this is bringing up fear in me. And that happens, you know, with growing my business as well, it's a huge, a huge factor in growth is I have to be able to lean into the things that scare me in order to move through and grow.
Michaela (36:04):
That's a great insight. I encourage everyone listening to move closer to the screen. Lean in, feel what you're feeling.
Jessica (36:10):
Yeah, yeah.
Michaela (36:12):
In this moment in your business and you know, maybe make a note to spend more time with that. I'll keep listening to this because otherwise we get stuck. And that's how people get stuck in their businesses. Um, you know, at certain stages.
Jessica (36:28):
Absolutely. It can be scary, you know? And that's the other thing is I like to bring forgiveness to myself for my humanness. Like you're human. I'm human. I mean, I'm like very powerful being and I'm human. I have human emotions and things are going to scare me and I'm still working with beliefs that I've created that I'm, I'm like needing to recognize and let go in order to, to grow. And that can be very uncomfortable. Um, but you don't get growth. Overrated. I agree. Yeah. Yeah. And I, if I am a, I've been called a creature of comfort. I literally try and wear clothes that are as close to pajamas as possible. I like wear cute pajamas. I want to be really comfortable in my body. Um, and I believe that,
Michaela (37:17):
well, I think comfort of clothing is different from comfort in emotions. Yeah. You know, I don't think we get any business growth points for wearing high heels or you know, clothing that's tight too tight to wear or whatever. Yeah. I wouldn't know. Okay. We're talking about being, okay, I'm doing something. My business is bringing up old stories. It's bringing up emotions and being okay, feeling those, being interested in them instead of pushing them down and letting them move through. So
Jessica (37:49):
I talked to myself, I literally would talk, I talked to myself. Um, I w you know, different things. How, okay, so where is this coming from? Um, I also would say, you know, like it's okay that you're feeling this way. Um, and I would, it would, it helps me sometimes to talk things through rather than I have a mind where things can start to spin around a little bit and go, um, kind of just start to circulate. And so my, the two tools that I use in order to not continue to this spin is to write things down. So I'll spend some time writing and journal it. Um, ask myself some questions, how are you feeling? And then I'll answer it. What is this, do you think? Teaching you? I'll answer that and I'll just, you know, have some and I'll just, I'll answer them. And then I, I also put on a voice, a voice recorder and just talk to myself. I coach myself.
Michaela (38:44):
How cool. Similar things. You ask yourself questions, just say whatever comes out. Yeah.
Jessica (38:49):
Yeah. And then based on what comes out, my like wise mind coaching self will ask question,
Speaker 5 (38:56):
let's get some more clarity on that. You find that stops the a we need to lead in again, that stops the uh,
Michaela (39:08):
it's going round and round and round in your head as you're worrying at night. Yeah. Oh, that's great. Two great kids. Cause I know entrepreneur entrepreneurs who have insomnia or they wake up with crazy thoughts going round and round. So two great tips then. So, so you wanted to shift this manifestation, so instead of manifesting money and it goes away immediately, what did you want instead?
Jessica (39:32):
Um, I wanted abundance. I wanted to manifest, I wanted to continue manifesting money coming to me. And so I spent
Speaker 5 (39:42):
next day they're doing a lot of self care,
Jessica (39:47):
um, resting in and um, nurturing myself. And then, um, I I got really clear on, okay this happened and if I believe that this is, you know, a possibility for some sort of a test of me really coming back into confirming what it is that I do believe. What do you believe? And, um, I believe that I am abundant and I believe that I choose compassion and I choose forgiveness and I choose to lean in and I really, um, validated that for myself that that is what I choose. And I did some visualizations that day on Sunday, the day after where I just imagined like abundance and energy moving through me. Um, and like that I was attracting it, that I was like a magnet for it.
Michaela (40:40):
That's so inspiring. Cause if so, basically lost all your cash, large amount of money, but you will [inaudible]
Jessica (40:45):
visualizing money coming to you and love coming to you. Yes. Yeah, exactly.
Michaela (40:51):
So how long did it take for this to actually produce any results?
Jessica (40:56):
Ours. No way. Yeah, a couple hours actually. So a couple hours after really sitting down and doing visualizations and making this, you know, connection. I had somebody reach out, um, with interest in being a client. Wow. So that happened with an hours and I talked with them about starting that next day. And then in the morning that next morning on Monday, another person reached out to work with me, which was amazing. So two people within what felt like 12 hours. And then I started working with these two people that next day. Uh, and on Monday, the following day after this, I went out for my lunch break and then I came back and wait at the front desk. Um, was a little envelope, a little like bad folded. And the front desk said this was left for you from the last last reception. I and I asked to left it and they said it didn't have a name on it.
Jessica (41:59):
And they said, we don't know, we weren't here. And so I opened up this bag and looked inside of it. And there was a bunch of cash inside of it. Wow. Yeah. Equivalent to pretty much how much I lost. Wow. Yeah. Wow. And my heart filled with so much love and um, joy and I was just like, my whole body lit up and I had like the biggest smile on my face and I was stunned too. I was just like, I almost was like, there was a moment I was like, I can't believe this is happening. And then I was like, yes, I can. I can totally believe that this is happening. Um,
Michaela (42:42):
so what, what would you tell people who are, have a business about the power of visualization? Should they bother doing it? They spend any time, you know, visualizing good things like money, a new client, ideal clients come into the business or
Jessica (42:58):
I, my answer is yes. I think it is absolutely worth the time to sit down and really visualize and meditate on what it is that you're wanting to create and really see that coming to you see the abundance coming through you. Um, there is um, a coach of mine that calls them energy polls where you sit and you literally are imagining you're pulling energy and you can have it pull into you, you can have a pull through you. Um, and um, I, I am also a really firm believer that the more clarity we can get on what we're wanting to create and then actually really feeling like we're, we make the conscious decision that we are opening up for this. We are opening up. Cause a lot of times I've noticed, I'm like, yes I want this, I want this, I want this. And then the back of my head there's something that doesn't feel safe about it. And so I have to let that like check that, check in with that and lean into, it's safe for me to receive this. It's safe for me to grow. It's safe for me to receive and um, um, and visualize that
Michaela (44:06):
I would add onto the safe and say it's safe, right. And good for me to receive. Cause sometimes we think it's wrong for us to receive money
Jessica (44:14):
when other people don't have it or
Michaela (44:16):
yeah, because it was all those beliefs. People have, people have a zillion beliefs about money. 99% of which are not actually very nice. Bleeps, helpful. They're not helpful really, you know, money is the root full evil and you know, money doesn't grow on trees. There's never enough money, blah blah blah blah. I won't re-emphasize those I have have talked about before. Um, but similar to those high school beliefs we pick up, we often pick these money beliefs up from school or from parents or other people. Um, yeah. Wow. So inspiring. And how long have you stayed, do you use, do you meditate and visualize when you're on the ball doing this?
Jessica (44:56):
Yeah, so I do a gratitude journal every, every single morning. I write, um, three things, at least that I'm grateful for in my life. And um, I would say that I do probably on the daily, at least at this is it can be as quick as a minute. It's at least a minute of just checking, checking in. And then I also, um, checking in what does that mean? Checking in, meaning checking in on where my energy is at, where, where am I, where is my focus? So I kind of think of myself as a compass. And so that check-in is like, where am I putting my attention? Where am I putting my focus? Where is my arrow pointing? Because that's where I'm going to go. And if I'm not constantly checking in about where my arrow is pointing, then I don't have, I feel like I get to, I can end up doing this a little bit, which is fine. But the more regularly I can check in and ask myself, where is my direction, where am I feeling? What do I need to get back on track? Then I feel like it's,
Michaela (46:02):
and then how long do you spend visualizing the ideal clients and money coming to you?
Jessica (46:08):
Um, I would say anywhere between five to 15 minutes. Like a typical kind of meditation? Yeah. Yeah. And then every day, um, in the evening time I ask myself for, um, what is some words of wisdom or some sort of message that we wanting to come through from today?
Michaela (46:32):
Wow. What a nice practice. You should write a book. Awesome. Then maybe I will. Yeah. Wow. Anything else you want to share that we, I didn't think to ask you that it's important to tell people watching and listening.
Jessica (46:48):
I think, you know, just to reiterate how important it is to be really honest with our emotions and how we're feeling and not to suppress, but to really, um, have compassion and give the space for the processing of what comes up for us. Um, so that we can really help ourselves move through it and then ask ourselves and what we choose. So recognize that we have the ability to switch our perspective so we can say, what is it, the word that I'm choosing to, to believe and put my energy into. Um, and I think also just a reminder that we're way more powerful than we give credit for. You are a lot more powerful. You are a very powerful being. And the more you can practice that, believe it, play with it, the more fun it can be. So yeah.
Michaela (47:42):
Trout, yes, those are three great tips. We'll put them in the show notes. I'm on the intuitive leadership mastery website, um, uh, along with some of the other great things you shared and I, it just made me think, uh, those are not just good things for us to do ourselves, but potentially they're good things to share with our staff as well and help them, you know, process through this stuff and be powerful beings febrile, working together. Because you know, one metaphor of a business is it's like a, you know, a car with different wheels and four wheels are powerful and strong and they're all pointing in the same direction. The business is going to go somewhere a lot quicker than if, you know, some of the wheels broke, broken them going in different directions. It's how many businesses operate and then wonder why it's painful to me involved in it. So. Cool. Well thanks so much for being on the show today, Jessica so much for having me. This was lovely. Yeah. So if people want to find you online, how could they best do that?
Jessica (48:42):
Yeah, the two ways I recommend either my website, which is Jessica, huntington.com or on Instagram, is heart of Jess. So Hart underscore of underscore Jess.
Michaela (48:55):
Fabulous. Well, we'll put those two in the show notes too, and thanks so much for listening today. Bye.