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Michaela Light 0:01
Welcome back to the show. I'm here with the lane Schwartz and we're going to be talking about how the masculine paradigm of success sucks for real success. So welcome, Elena.
Alaina Schwartz 0:13
Thank you. It's so great to be here with you. I'm honored Michaela.
Michaela Light 0:17
Yay, me too. And for those of you who don't know, her, she used to be in a previous life, a Attorney for the music industry. But she stopped using so much of that left brain attorney stuff and got into her right brain skills and intuition.
And she has a very interesting life history that we'll share later. But right now, she's a business, a mindset coach, and she works on improving your foundation strategies and systems. So let's talk about the masculine dominated way of being in business because so many women and men use that but but perhaps they're not sure exactly what we're talking about. So what do you mean by the the masculine way of doing business or masculine dominated energy,
Alaina Schwartz 1:15
Everyone has feminine and masculine energy, Yin and Yang, you know, inhale and exhale, the sun and the moon. And everything is, is sort of feminine energy, and masculine energy. And so each person, whether you're a man, or a woman, however you self identify, um, you have masculine and feminine energy. And what's interesting about that is that, you know, in the patriarchal society, masculine energy has very much dominated, and it's dominated how people do business. And so what that looks like, for me also, when you look at the the masculine and feminine, it's like hustle and flow. So hustle is Do do do push, push, push, action oriented, single minded focus, always moving forward. And what tends to happen for both men and women for particularly for women, is it tends to lead to burnout, exhaustion, overwhelm health issues, relationship issues, you know, so maybe you are crushing it in your business, but you're like, the rest of your life has completely imploded. Or maybe you're even struggling to get where you want in your business, you're struggling to scale your business or grow your business, two different things, but you're scaling tea, or you're struggling to either grow your business or scale your business to the next level, because you're in constant state of doing and you can't possibly work any more to, you know, to grow your business anymore. And so, so, flow is actually it is moving into that state of intuition, it is moving into those more feminine qualities of wisdom and feelings. And you know, like, if we're too far in the feminine, it's like being like total hippie and not really wanting to accomplish everything. But if you're too far in the masculine again, you are in that burnout, overwhelming exhaustion. So there's a huge balance. And it's learning how to balance those two energies so that the masculine can actually support the message masculine is the structure. And so we do need structure in business, but the feminine energy is the flow. And if we moved more into flow, then we wouldn't we create what we wanted with ease. So it makes sense.
Michaela Light 3:32
It does make sense i muted myself, so I wasn't making noises. I was having some late breakfast. So I think that makes sense. But maybe maybe it would help to understand what's the you know, you're talking about how masculine dominated energy stops the flow? What exactly tell us a bit more about what you mean by flow? Because I don't think you just mean be a hippie.
Alaina Schwartz 4:02
No, I don't, no, no, not by any means. So So if there's anybody who in your audience who's ever done any sport, or maybe played an instrument, and you get to a certain point, where you're almost not even in your body, you're just like in the zone, right? That's what they call in sports, being in the zone, where you feel like I mean, I'm sure people, I don't know anybody who hasn't experienced waking up, maybe, maybe they've experienced it a lot, maybe not so much. But waking up and having everything just seemed to move in the direction you want. Everything just seems like it works. You know, like everything you need to tap into just seems like it's there and you're moving, like that's flow state. And so you can, but the thing about that that's really interesting is you can cultivate that it's like a muscle, you can actually grow that, just like you can grow intuition. So it's the same thing. And the more that you're in flow, the more you actually tap into that inner wisdom, that inner intuition for me It comes as an inner voice that allows you to align more fully with your higher self. So that what you're doing is always in your highest good. So it's not your, your ego mind that's driving your results, right? It's not the ego that saying, Oh my God, if you just have one more accomplishment, then you'll finally be worthy. Or I'm not really, you know, we're, you know, I feel like a fraud, I have imposter syndrome, I don't feel like people are gonna find me out. And so therefore, I have to cover it up and do it this way. So I'm not found out like, those things actually take you out of flow, because they move you into the ego. And so ego is an energetic alignment with who you really are.
Michaela Light 5:49
Mm hmm. That sounds a lot less stressful.
Alaina Schwartz 5:54
Much less stressful. Yeah. Yeah. So much less stressful. Yeah.
Michaela Light 5:58
Now, you mentioned relationship and health issues, I think also at the bottom of this is, is a spiritual lack, that's apparent to me in a lot of our society, that people lack spiritual meaning in that work, they don't get a lot of joy out of their business is does that relate to this in any way? Or?
Alaina Schwartz 6:21
That's a really beautiful question, because I think it's at the heart of it, I think it's really at the heart of it. So, so out of everything out of everything really comes from self love. And so the more that we are truly loving and valuing ourselves, and appreciating our own greatness, and who we really are here, then then the more we're able to tap into that intuitive nature of ourselves and move in flow. And the other part about that. So there's two parts of what you said, the other piece about that is that living on purpose. So when we're aligned with our purpose, we each came here to fulfill a purpose in this world. And when we're aligned with that purpose, when we're moving in fulfillment of that purpose, there's a deep sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. And what I've experienced, I mean, I had, you know, being a lawyer in the music industry for 18 years, like it was totally my parents agenda, it was never mind and creating the level of success of being the Executive Vice President, largest independent music company in the world, and going like, what the heck am I doing like, I'm never more miserable, like, there has to be more, there has to be more to this and then walking, literally walking away from that, in search of what's more, and when I learned there was this, like, deep discontent that I had. And when I finally aligned with my purpose, it was a settling in of just a satisfaction and fulfillment that I experienced every day, based on what it is I do, and my clients experience the same thing. When they're really aligned with their purpose. It does help you move in flow, it does help you get you know, I'll call them downloads of next right action to take or whether this is the right path or how to guide you onto the right path. And it is so much easier and less stressful.
Michaela Light 8:17
Hi, it's fabulous. So were you a bit like that character in the movie Bohemian Rhapsody, who was the attorney for the band queen?
Alaina Schwartz 8:28
No, it's funny. I love that movie. But I'm struggling to remember what that character was like.
Michaela Light 8:33
Well, his name was Jim beach. But the lead character in Queen whose name eludes me right now who's really famous. He dubbed him Miami Beach.
Alaina Schwartz 8:48
That's hilarious.
Michaela Light 8:50
Yeah, but he was he seemed to be as attorneys go, he seemed to be quite a fun loving kind of guy.
Alaina Schwartz 8:56
I was like that I was an exceptional attorney in that I wasn't your usual attorney. I was never really for corporate and trying to do the corporate path. Definitely. When I'm pretty much every fiber of my being.
Unknown Speaker 9:14
I really,
Alaina Schwartz 9:16
yeah, yeah, yeah, it's really and I was really good at it too. I was really good at closing deals that were very hard for other people to close because I understand the nuance of relationships. And so that was like everything that we do really is a relationship based. You know, regardless of what you do with it really is all based on relationships, even even whether you have success is based on your relationship with money, and how you have your relationship with money. So, so when all of that it's all about relational experiences, and I'm really good at relationships and communication, so for me, negotiating, which is what I did, came relatively easy for me and I was really successful at it, but I did it Like the other corporate aspects like billable hours, for example.
Um, you know, so those kinds of things didn't really work for what I you know what I was doing?
Michaela Light 10:14
Well, it sounds really interesting that you're seeing relationship as key to success. relationships with others relationship with self. Yes. relationship to money. Tell me a bit about those different things and how they make for success.
Alaina Schwartz 10:32
Yeah. So going back to what we were just talking about a second ago, your relationship to yourself, like, how do you love yourself? How do you talk to yourself, one of the things that I have my clients do is treat themselves like they would their best friend, if you mess up, if you make a mistake, do you beat your best if your best friend were to mess up and make a mistake? Would you beat them up for it? Or would you have compassion for them on what they were experiencing yet, when it happens to us, like, we have this, like, I call it the itty bitty shitty committee on our shoulder. Who was like telling us all kinds of things about ourselves that aren't really true. And, and as a result of that, you know, it becomes this self fulfilling prophecy, this spiral downward of the things you say about yourself, then you experience more of in your life, because that is how the universal universal principles work. That's how quantum physics, you know, works and how neuroscience works. And so as a result of that, our relationship with ourselves should be the primary relationship. And truth be told, we actually have everything that we need fully inside of us, we just keep looking outside for it. And when we create the success, when we create the freedom, when we create that inner love, then everything we want is it's inevitable that it shows up in our in our reality, because we are being it, you know, and the universe essentially is a mirror for who we are being it doesn't give us what we want, it gives us who we are. So by as a result of being the person that you would be if you had everything that you really wanted, if you experienced the emotions of that before it showed up in your 3d reality, it would be inevitable that it would show up in your 3d reality. So that's, that's relationship with self. Now, if you're truly loving to yourself, then you're loving to others and the planet. Like that's what you want to do, you know, to put self first and capital S self, not like ego self first, you know, but capital, ask your higher self, you know, to put that part of you first and foremost, it's like you get on a plane, and they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before putting anybody else's on. So you know that when you're taking true care and love of yourself, that you end up having better relationships, and that includes the relationship with money, because everything is energy, we are actually point 0000 1% matter, the rest of us is all energy. And everything we experience is energy. And the only thing that differentiates me from you from, you know, the mic that I'm talking to, or my laptop that this is recording on, is the frequency with which it all vibrates. And so as you know, we raise our frequency, then we're able to tap into, much like the unlimited realm, you know, and then it allows, you know, they call money currency for a reason, because it is it is an energetic current. And when we clear up our relationship with money, then it allows it to flow easily and effortlessly and continuously in our lives.
Michaela Light 13:51
Wow, that made me think of several things there. So it's very interesting. Now, you mentioned earlier in that, when you wanting to achieve a goal, it's not so important what you want, which is what we think of writers setting goals, right? You write it down, maybe you can do a vision board or whatever, when you tell people, but you're saying that's not the most important thing. It's who you are. That's the most important. Can you tell us a bit more about that? Because I think a lot of people in business, when they think of achieving goals, they think of the first set of things right? You write down the goal, you tell your staff what the goal is, what you're saying that's not enough.
Alaina Schwartz 14:36
Oh, actually, if you only did that you wouldn't achieve it or you it would take so long for you to achieve it. Because you're not an energetic alignment. So the goal that you have has an energetic frequency. Let's say for example, I'm just going to use real money examples because it's so clear. Let's say for example, that you're earning $100,000 a year but you want to be earning $100,000 a month. So how does the person Who's earning $100,000 a month act? What's the level of vibration? Like? How are they showing up in the world? How do they make decisions? How do they think about things? You know, what kinds of clothing might they wear? You know, do they show up with a certain level of ease Do they know like, like, for example, I said this to one of my clients the other day, some of the problems that they're having, if they looked at them a year from now, they they would have been insurmountable a year from now, the problems that they had a year from, I mean, a year before, if they were looking at the problems they had a year before. At that moment, they may have felt insurmountable. But now, now that they're, you're further out, and they've made significantly more money, those problems are like blips on the map, you see them so completely differently, you don't look at them the same way. And it's the same thing, even with our own problems, a person who's earning $100,000 a month would know how to solve all your problems, it wouldn't be an issue, they know, they're all solvable. You know, and that's the thing. So when we become that person, when we embody that person, now, when we start acting, and being not just acting, but being that person, now I'm starting to feel the things that that person would feel, making the kinds of decisions that person would make now, now you're aligning to the vision, now you're becoming that person. And now who you are, then you can create what you want, because you are being that person. So that makes sense.
Michaela Light 16:30
To me Makes sense. So I how does one do that? You know, if you're shifting to be that person,
Alaina Schwartz 16:41
hire me first and foremost.
Michaela Light 16:44
Yes, well, that's one way shift your mindset by hiring you.
Alaina Schwartz 16:48
Yeah, yeah. So So shifting your mindset is key. And and there's different ways to do that, looking at the limiting beliefs that are holding you back is only one way and and if you only focus on that, it'll take you a really long time, you have to shift your state of being. And your state of being is really made up of two things, it's really made up of your thoughts, because your thoughts broadcast, you know, your energy out to the universe, to the unit, the universal field, the quantum field, which is where everything is created, and your emotions magnetize your own reality back to you. So it's really shifting your thoughts and your emotions and your habits, which then change your experience. Because right now, if you have a belief, I'm not enough, then you might have a thought, I, if I reach out to that person, that's not really going to work, even if you're not totally conscious of that thought. And then you have an emotion that causes anxiety or desperation, when you reach out to that person, and then you take an action, if you even reach out to that person, then they could feel the energy that comes through that, and then you get the result that matches the belief. And then it just reinforces the belief. This is like this, you know, psycho, psycho, psycho cybernetic loop that we're in. But if you shift your thought, to, like, Oh, no, I can make this work. I know, if it's not this person, it's going to be the next person that comes along. And I'm not attached to whether it works out with this person, but I know I can offer value, then the thoughts that I mean, the emotions that you have, is, you know, a feeling of confidence and a belief. And then when you take the action and connect with that person, they can feel that they can feel that you're not attached, that you're not like there's not this desperation that comes along with that, that the energy feels really clear and clean and good. And then if that person doesn't work out, then you know, maybe the next person that comes along will be the right person. But the idea is that it shifts different beliefs because of that you're having different experiences. And so to do that, it requires shifting your thoughts shifting your emotions, like literally, I have my clients visualize getting into the emotion, not necessarily the visuals, but getting into the emotion. If you had what you wanted, how would that feel? If you already had it? If it were already here? How would it feel start feeling like that as much of the day as possible? You know, and then like, what are you doing in your habits, your body is literally addicted to your habits, your habits cause your body stress. And those type of stress causes a release of hormones of stress, like cortisol nor epinephrine or adrenaline. And they're addictive to the body. So your body wants you to keep repeating those same patterns over and over again, like a drug addict can keep getting a hit. And so what you have to do is you have to shift up your habit. So if the first thing what's what's the first thing Michaela that most people do when they wake up in the morning. They're,
Michaela Light 19:43
oh my goodness, check the phone. No bad idea.
Alaina Schwartz 19:47
Bad idea. Bad idea. Because then it takes you into this loop of probably social media or email, usually the two places that people go or social media or email and either one of them Those take you in a downward spiral that have you repeating your yesterday again. So now you're projecting your predictable past onto your future. And so what you have to do is change up your habit. So you're doing something different. So your body is going what, like, if you don't exercise, start exercising, and you're, you know, your ego mind is gonna say, Oh, wait, you can start tomorrow, you don't need to start today. Why do it today? And the point is to move past those inner voices that want to keep you in the familiar, you know, because the ego, you know, the number one survival instinct of humans is not actually I mean, the number one instinct of humans is not actually for survival, it's for the familiar. And that's because when we left the cave, we had to know if we were getting get eaten or not, we look for what was familiar what was wrong with this picture. And so your brain has kept a database of every experience that you have ever had. And when you go into the unknown, when you go into uncertainty, it goes, Well, let me check the database and see where I how I've done, you know how I've survived that, how that's worked for me in the past. And since you haven't done it before, and there's nothing in the database to say what's going on, then what happens is your body goes into fight or flight, and it doesn't know what to do. So that the future person that already has it already knows what the habit is, but the current person you're in right now doesn't know what the How is. And so it causes a fight or flight response in the body. So when we start shifting up our thoughts, when we start shifting up our habits, and we start having different experiences, can we be in a state of gratitude, gratitude is a huge, huge thing to cultivate to actually shift those things. Then all of a sudden, we start tapping into deeper levels of intuition. You start moving into flow, things get so much easier synchronicities, start happening, resources that we need, start showing up people that we want to be in our lives, or will support us on our journey start showing up and life just gets better.
Michaela Light 22:06
That's pretty interesting that you see, and I've experienced this, the more I'm in that state of flow, the more synchronicities and thing people the right people show up or the right circumstances appear, or money just appears, you know, it's, I mean, it's quite an amazing Why do you think that occurs with the synchronicities?
Alaina Schwartz 22:30
Yeah, yeah, it occurs because when we have a desire for something that desire on is already created in the quantum field, it's already there, it's already been created for us. And when we start to align, energetically aligned with what's in the quantum field, as we move closer and closer to it, the more aligned we are, the closer we become, until we're like right here with it. And as we become closer and closer, you know, the universe does give you everything that you need to to achieve whatever is in in the quantum field that you are desiring on that level. And so those synchronicities are the universe's way of having everything lined up for you so that you can create that, right and so you are literally creating your reality into existence, the more that you're alive, more that you're in flow, you're creating your rat reality into existence.
Michaela Light 23:28
I sometimes seems to me we create our businesses on a spiritual level. And then we're just filling in, we're painting in in the third dimension, that the results it's almost like one of those paint by numbers, things we've got the outline of what you're creating at the spiritual level, and then your your staff or customers are filling in the 3d reality.
Alaina Schwartz 23:51
Yeah, and there's a you know, from from a brain science perspective, there's an actual like thing about that, like, we have this word of our brain called the reticular activating system. And I'll call it ra s, for short, the RA s goes into like one of the main purposes of the RTS, like we have very highly sensitive senses. And the amount of stimulation that our bodies would take in would completely overwhelm us and we wouldn't be able to function. And so our RS filters out stimuli and only allows in that which is important to us. And that's based on your limiting beliefs, usually, you know, whatever you believe it will filter in. And so it's why if you've ever gotten a new car, you start seeing that car, everywhere else on the road, all of a sudden, it's not like all of a sudden people went out and bought the car. But your brain is now focused on it in a way that it wasn't before. And so you're seeing so for oftentimes, these opportunities, these things are right here now or you're bringing them in but you can't see them because it's like you've got these blinders on. And so as you start to shift the wiring in your brain there and you send your Ross in search of a different thing to search for different beliefs, different thoughts, it fills in the grid, it will show you the pieces that will fill in the grid to fill in that paint by number that spiritual, like what you've created in the spiritual realm, it will then fill it in, in the physical realm in the realm of form. And so part of it is that the opportunities, the creativity, the inspiration is all right here. But because we have these blinders on, we can't see it. And so when we remove those blinders, we see it all here. And that appears is synchronicities and the right situation and money appearing. A lot of it was all there in the first place. But we couldn't see it because we were at a different state of mind a different state of being.
Michaela Light 25:45
That's a fascinating way to look at synchronicities. And I think that certainly explains some of that, you know, when things just appear that they were there the whole time when we either we didn't see them. The other alternative is we did see them. But we didn't engage in a way that would bring them to us. And there's a famous experiment, I forget who did it. But basically, they, you know, they paid people to be in a psychological experiment. And they had them come into a cafe to answer questions. But that wasn't what the real experiment was. They taped $1 bill to the doorway of the room they were coming in to to see who would pick up the dollar bill. And then afterwards, they asked him, Hey, did you see that, oh, they'll some people didn't even see the money on the floor as they came in. Other people did see it. But they're like, Oh, that's not mine, Oh, I can't pick it up, or it's evil to pick up money might be dirty, they had all kinds of things that stopped them. And I think the same happens in business that opportunities sometimes appear, and people notice them, but they talk themselves out of, of following it up.
Alaina Schwartz 26:53
I think that's right on. I think that's right on Michaela, because I, you know, it goes back to like those limiting beliefs that are filtering in those messages of like, that's not going to work, or there's something wrong with that, or whatever, that keeps you from capitalizing on the opportunity, right, that seizing the opportunity. And so I do feel like that that is a big piece of it is that they are either they don't either see them, or they are there. But they don't feel like they're for that.
Michaela Light 27:24
Yeah, and you might say the not even seeing something is like a deeper level subconscious. Quotes limiting belief. You don't even see the opportunity. I mean, that's so deep. But yeah, there's so many ways people managed to make things hard, right, either not, not noticing the opportunities, or talking themselves out of it or struggling with it, or, you know, in various ways. So it's fascinating the ways humans managed to make things hard.
Alaina Schwartz 27:55
It is, it really is. And this is like what I study, you know, I study in a sense struggle of how to get, you know, because I believe one of the biggest myths that that exists in business is that you have to work hard to succeed. And that is just programming that most of us have experienced from the time we're really little. And it isn't true, but because we've been programmed that way, like I have clients who tell me that if they have any free time, they feel guilty. You know, it's easy, it's just totally crazy. So So what ends up happening is it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, all of our limiting beliefs become self fulfilling prophecies. And so we experienced that we can have the success we want without working hard, when we didn't have to work hard in the first place. I mean, I teach my clients how not to work hard to they want, you know, my implement, and part of it is, you know, this sort of spiritual mindset state of being realm, a part of it is very practical strategies that we implement in their business. But for the most part, these practical strategies, these systems, they usually don't work unless you've got this other piece aligned. And that's really the key is I can give my clients the right systems, the right strategies, you know, teach them how to be world class leaders, but usually without their alignment on this other piece. They only get minimum mileage on that before they're in the weeds again.
Unknown Speaker 29:20
Hmm.
Michaela Light 29:22
It's quite amazing. So I guess some people grew up with fewer limiting beliefs or their parents supported them in that work is easy, and, you know, right, hiring is easy and what have you. And so they they only needed to pick up that little piece of structure or system in order to run with it. So
Alaina Schwartz 29:47
and also some people have certain beliefs but not others. So for example, I know a lot of people who making money comes really easy to them. Maybe making money and keeping money even comes easy for them because some people they make Money really easily, but then they don't really keep it. So for some people, that's not their issue, the issue isn't making money and keeping money, they believe they can make money and keep it. But their self worth is so attached to it, that they're miserable inside, they have no sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. They're always trying to do more to prove themselves to themselves, and maybe even to a parent or something like that. I had one client, Kayla, she was a total go getter. All my clients are go getters. And she was, it's true. I love working with high achievers because I am one. And she, um, her parents, both her parents had died the year before within six months of each other. And she had a mid six figure business and her business totally tanked. And most people would look at that and say, okay, that's understandable. Both your parents died last year. It makes sense. But when I dug deeper, what I really discovered is that her entire why, which was to prove herself to her parents had disappeared when they died, and she was floundering. Because the whole reason she created success, a successful business no longer existed. And yeah,
we align her to her true why why was she really doing the work in the world that she was. And within two months, she had signed up, she worked with corporate clients, and she was when I met when I started working with her, she was working with like individuals that $1,000 a month rather than, you know, mid five figure High Five figure corporate clients, and within two months of us dialing in her why, and and getting, you know, some of the other pieces shifted, she signed in three mid five figure corporate clients. So it's amazing how you know, so many people, even if they have certain pieces, dial them, they don't have those other pieces dialed in. And so it because it isn't coming from the inside, it's coming from chasing something from the outside to make me feel better about myself, rather than me feeling great about myself so that everything I want shows up in my life.
Michaela Light 32:02
I mean, that is a very common attitude that people look to the outside. Why do you think that is that so many people in our society look to the outside instead of the inside.
Alaina Schwartz 32:18
I don't know where it originated from, but I can say where it exists now. You know, there's been a lot of tremendous advertising. First of all, we've moved further and further away from nature. And the more that we are in nature, the more that we actually go out and be with nature, the more we experience, our own wholeness, because nature is, is whole imperfect. There's this intelligence that exists in everything. And we start to see the intelligence in nature and also see that intelligence inside of us this higher intelligence, I'm talking about that we're able to tap into. And that's really what flow states are, it's tapping into higher levels of intelligence. And so what ends up happening is, you know, you're in the womb, and before you're, you know, pre verbal, even you've got messages from your parents and how they act, that, you know, happiness exists on the outside, not on the inside, because everybody's chasing something on the outside and thinking, if I only have XYZ, then I'll finally feel happy, I'll finally feel fulfilled. And so we've created we don't even realize it, that you know, our level of consciousness or limited level of consciousness, although it is evolving tremendously. But our limited level of consciousness has been passed down from generation to generation for these beliefs, that, you know, our happiness exists outside of ourselves. And we're told, you know, from the time that we're little, like, don't do that that's dangerous, or why are you being so difficult? Or you should be ashamed of yourself? What's wrong with you like, this is what parents say to little kids. And so little kids, then start believing there's something wrong with me. I'm not who I thought I was, I came into this world thinking I knew who I was. But now I don't really have a clue. And since you're my parents, I must believe what you tell me because you're the all knowing beings in my life, but your parents don't have a freaking clue of what they're actually doing in the limiting beliefs that they're imposing, just from modeling their behavior alone.
Michaela Light 34:23
I think that's very true. There's a lot of stuff. I mean, they say a lot of limiting beliefs get learned between the age of zero and seven, well, maybe some get picked up before you're even born just through the vibration you receive. And then I think school has acquired a part to play with this because there's a lot of beliefs that get transmitted in school and I don't mean geography and history and whatever. It's more like you know, obey the rules. fit in wear the same clothes as other people. You know, when bell rings, you have to, you know, it's like Pavlovian dogs, right? The bell rings and you have to go do something. It's quiet, whatever. And then kind of laid on top of that. I think there's a whole culture of don't listen to your own inner truth. But find out what the experts quotes experts say, you know, the scientists, the doctors, the journalists, you know, all different kinds of experts we have, but sometimes the experts might be right for other people, when they have that particular thing, you might need something different for you based on your own inner knowing.
Alaina Schwartz 35:39
Right, I think that's so key, what you just spoke about, because that really is true. It doesn't just come from parents, although largely it does. And even though, you know, our brains are still like heavily forming and we're in that theta brainwave state between zero and seven, theta brainwave is the the brainwave state of hypnosis. So we have literally so impressionable in that age, because it's coming, you know, whatever we're receiving, where it's just molding our brains, but I would say even zero to two is where most of them come in. And yet you are so right on where the entire our societies our cultures are set up, to essentially cut us off from our deepest level of our own wisdom, cut them cut us off from being different and standing out. And you know, for this, this fear that you won't belong, and in tribal days, if you didn't belong, and you were on the out, it meant you didn't survive, you didn't live. And so you know, there, there became like, the interesting part to me, is that our new frontal cortex, which is where all the reasoning were all, so much of that intuition comes in, is, is has really developed a lot, but our critter brains, you know, have not developed that much over the course of all the years that we've, you know, evolved, our critter brain really hasn't evolved. So a lot of those same things that were driving us back then when we were cave people, or when we were in tribal communities are really still driving us now. Even though they don't apply anymore, they don't work anymore. And you know, we we're all snowflakes, we're all unique, and we all have a uniqueness that we're meant to you know, actualize that helps bring our purpose into the world in a bigger way. And without that uniqueness, we don't actually really get to live our purpose. And yet, we're taught so much to fit in to be like everybody else not to trust ourselves, to trust the experts, as you say. And yet we have more wisdom for ourselves in any experts can ever give us when we learn how to tap into it. And listen, the key is not just tapping into it, but listening to it and actually acting on it. Because if you getting the intuition, but you're not acting on it, then you start to dull it coming even in because like it's going, why am I going to continue to give this to you if you're not doing anything about it. And so the more that you act on it, the more that you follow it, the greater and louder it becomes, and the greater the guidance that you get to follow in to, you know, in your life that will lead you ultimately, to even even more than we possibly could have imagined creating for ourselves.
Michaela Light 38:28
Absolutely. I mean, I think it's a muscle intuition as a muscle, we use all these other skills you talk about, and even just doing little experiments, you know, if you're, if you're, if you're listening to this new like, Well, that sounds great. laner mckaela. But I can't suddenly change how I work in my business. Well, what about if you just pay attention to the food you eat? You know, does your body want to eat this particular food in this moment? Or? Or when should I turn left or turn right at this intersection? You know, what's going to? what resonates more for me, you know, or what piece of what kind of clothing do I want to wear today? You know, whatever the thing is, and just start with something small. Yeah, follow these intuitive messages that way, where they're less of a big deal. In other words, if you were in the casino of life, start with the small value slot machines, not the $1,000. You know, blackjack or whatever table.
Alaina Schwartz 39:34
I like that analogy. The other thing is, is that it requires a certain amount of quieting of the mind chatter to actually hear it. We just have so much. You know, I know back in my late 20s I came into practicing yoga and I fell in love with it because being on the mat was the first time that that inner dialogue that inner chatter that was so loud in my head for so many years. got quiet. And I was like, Oh my god, this is amazing. And it allowed me as a result of getting quiet to listen to this still small voice, you know, to really get a better sense of what is that voice really saying to me. And so I would say, you know, doing things like meditation or, you know, taking walks, going for a walk in nature, sitting up against a tree, you know, these are things that will help us quiet the internal dialogue, to be able to hear that inner wisdom and guidance. And as you say, if you start small, and you don't have a lot of investment in the outcome, then you can build that muscle gradually.
Michaela Light 40:41
Yeah, and it's, you know, we can be gentle with ourselves over this, you know, it can take a while to remove that program. I mean, so, you know, start slow, just do it daily, maybe keep a record of what you know, because it may not work every time for you, if you have a lot of prior programming to overcome, but the more you do it, it's just like when you go to the gym, right? Don't expect to lift the, you know, 400 pound weight on the first day, you may need to start with a three pound weight, you know, but if you go to the gym every day, and you try, and, you know, try out more, you're gonna get better and better. Sure. So, you know, I'm coming back to the, the, you know, the amount of advertising, I think I read somewhere, that, you know, the average American sees 100,000 advertising messages, total a day, which sounds quite quite a lot. But, you know, it's everywhere. You know, it's on your cell phone, it's as you go around the street, it's on the TV, it's on the radio on, you go to an in a website, and there are all these ads splayed, or, you know, it's quite incredible. Anyway, it reminded me of a movie from the 80s. I don't know if you ever saw this movie, it's called they live. And he gets these magical sunglasses that let him see what the ads are really saying. And he looks at this ad. And you know, it's advertising whatever beer or something, and they put sunglasses on, and it says obey. form, you know, and it was quite an entertainer. I'll put the scene in the show notes, but it's quite an entertaining. I don't know if the whole premise of the whole movie is true. But I think it's definitely true advertising does a lot of subliminal manipulation. And and I know from people who work in media and advertising that they're, they're very clever at this, right? They study how to manipulate people.
Alaina Schwartz 42:38
Yeah. of the manipulation of it, which is crazy. I mean, like Facebook hired, you know, over 400 mit grads, just to get you addicted to the app, you know, they know what they're doing. They really know what they're doing. And you know,
Michaela Light 42:54
what I do? And I am how they color think like that little notification thing is in red, because when it was in blue, it didn't work as well. Right? Yeah. And the positioning of things and how they phrase stuff is all they all, they have really clever people who know how to get people's attention the easiest, but also they do a lot of split testing, where they try it out one way and try another way and see which one actually works better. So good for them getting really clever at this thing not so good for us when we want to be able to create things and our businesses are in there all these distractions from advertising and apps and what have you.
Alaina Schwartz 43:33
Well, that's that's one of the things that I actually talk about. So when changing your habits, I have been on a no news to low news media. And I'll say low news since COVID started because I was on a pretty much no news media diet beforehand. And you know, like, you know, look, CNN like really stands for constantly negative news. And actually, all the networks do right, all the networks too. And so the point is, is that they make money on fear, they make money on you watching them more. And so the more fear that they can drum up, the more that they can make you feel uncomfortable, the more money they make. And ultimately, when you think about like, being discerning about what you feed your body, what kind of food you put in your body, you also have to be discerning about what kind of media or other things you're ingesting in your head, because it's the same thing. It's like when you're trying to rewire your programming and become you know, like they say that wealthy people focus on education, not entertainment. And and the idea is like, most of the masses want to focus on being completely entertained, and they don't want to focus on like up leveling their skills in the same way or something like that. So what you're feeding your mind is helping create the person that you're being is helping you create your vibrational frequency. So if you want to raise the level of frequency to the person that you would be If you already had that, then you have to be far more discerning about what you feed your mind.
Michaela Light 45:07
That's a fascinating thought. Because I think I mean, although not all of us eat food that is healthy all the time, I think we are a bit conscious that, hey, this food is, you know, healthy, or this food is less healthy. But applying that to, you know, what movies or news or books or you know, other things we consume, or even just the environment of our office, you know, is it focused and beautiful? Or is it distracting and full of clutter? You know, it sounds such a small thing, but it does affect
Alaina Schwartz 45:42
it does affect a lot,
Michaela Light 45:44
how we, how good we are at reaching our goals. And then I would also add into that conscious choice of the people we hang out with, you know, who are our friends? Who, what fat, how much time we spend with family members who are not? Whatever positive? And, you know, who do we hire to work in our business? And how are they and who do we let be customers? Right? Are we consciously choosing our customers and vendors? Because not everyone is qualified to be a customer of our businesses? Yes, not everyone is qualified to be a vendor. And I know when I started out, I didn't pick customers, you know, as well as I do now. Yeah. And the same with vendors or staff, you know,
Alaina Schwartz 46:34
I think that's so important. Michaela, I call it the three minute, the three hour and the three day people. So like the three minute people, like maybe there are people you can't completely remove where you don't want to completely remove from your life. But they're negative Nellies or you know, you know, downer dance or whatever. And maybe you don't want to completely remove them for your life, but you want to spend three minutes with them rather than three days or three hours with them. Right? So you really want to limit your contact because their energy, their vibration, they're talking about what's not working. I just so funny, I just released a post today about this about are you letting dream stealers in your life. You know, like people who are naysayers who no matter like it could be because they have the best of intentions and they want to protect you or it could be because your light shines so bright. And it reminds them of how dim theirs is and you're stepping out of your comfort zone. And they're like living in mediocrity, and that's so uncomfortable that they want to bring you down, you know, some people will call that the tall poppy syndrome. So, um,
Michaela Light 47:35
you know, that bucket of crabs was another way I've heard it, you know, when you go, yeah, where you have the crabs in a bucket, but none of the crabs can escape. Because anytime a brave crab crawls up the side of the bucket, the other Crabs grab onto it and drag it back down,
Alaina Schwartz 47:49
for sure.
That's exactly what it is. So you know, and then some people really do have the best of intentions for you, but they and they think they're protecting you, but they don't realize that they're feeding your mind with negative stuff that's like hurting your self belief. And so you know, that goes to, you know, the kinds of clients and making sure that your clients are aligned. And if the people that are in your life, you know, the people who who you when you feel good with it, you feel more empowered with that you feel more confident with make those 3d people, you know, hang out with them as much as possible. You know, have more people show up in your life that are like that, because you're focused on those kinds of people and then minimize, you know, the other kinds of people and it doesn't mean you have to get rid of them completely, although I would recommend doing that. But it doesn't mean you have to. But you can minimize your you know, your contact with them. So you're still maintaining the relationship, but they're not feeding into your draining, I would really say your energy.
Michaela Light 48:46
Well, that's such a deep topic. I could talk for hours about it, because it's like a whole energy vampire type thing that goes on with some people where they suck your energy. And energetically, literally, they are calling into your energy and they've got a little pipeline where they're sucking your lifeforce out of you. It's quite amazing. But on a practical level, yeah, just either not spending time or the other thing I would say is, it's the quality of the engagement. Because I find with someone who's like you're describing their dream stealer, if, if it's just someone a stranger out on the street, they ain't able to steal steal much from my dream is because like, well, I don't care what you think, you know, but if it's like my mom or sister or you know, customer, I open my heart and I take in their negative thing much more deeply. So part of the other thing is not just spend less time with them, but like, just be a bit more careful about opening up my heart to people who don't have my best intention, you know, with them,
Alaina Schwartz 49:53
and don't share certain things with them, you know? Great, right. Don't share certain things. Don't share stuff about your business. with them, like don't share what you're about to do, or the excitement you have in your business, because you don't want that negative input to come into you and drain your energy out as a result.
Michaela Light 50:12
That is excellent advice. And I'm going to just include any romantic partners that people have in that because often people, you know, pick each other for marriages or relationships of a romantic nature, because one person wants to learn something from the other, you know, they both want to grow. But unfortunately, that means the person who's the brave entrepreneur, sometimes this isn't in relationship with someone who would like to be an entrepreneur, but is really afraid of doing that kind of thing. Right? And it can be a real Debbie Downer kind of thing. When you share, you're like, Oh, I'm gonna invest in this, and then the other person's freaking out, you know?
Alaina Schwartz 50:53
Yeah, sure. And, and what I will say about that is that, um, is that I had a client, um, and we just talked about this, I think it was last week where her husband, you know, she's she pivoted, and she's now offering services to, you know, like, about anxiety, mental health issues, too, you know, corporate, the corporate world, and executives in particular, and her husband has been in the corporate world, but she never has. And so because she hasn't, she doesn't trust her own ability. She feels like a fraud. And so she keeps checking in with him, but he's never, He's never done what she's doing. And he keeps saying to her, Well, why would you do that? Or, and I said to her, would you please stop telling him this stuff, like, stop it, just like you keep thinking he's gonna give you like the approval and validate that you can do this. And all he's doing is getting, you know, you'd like chipping away at your self belief, because he doesn't know like, take take advice from somebody who's been there and knows he's not it. You know? And so it is spouses or significant others intimate relationships are a big place, that that exists as well.
Michaela Light 52:01
Yeah, because the thing is, typically people spend, you know, years with their spouse, right? Yes. And they're, and they open their hearts to them. So they, you know, they will listen to whatever the person says, even if what the person says is negative or wounding. And in addition, the other thing I would add a lot of people sleep in the same bed with their spouse. Well, you talked about waking up and checking your cell phone, just imagine waking up and checking in with a spouse who is not supportive of your entrepreneur.
idea. Yeah, so I like the idea of just, you know, if they're not going to be supportive, probably best to just avoid the interaction. So
Alaina Schwartz 52:48
and also creating a community, you know, that's the thing is create a community with people who are supportive, who are like minded, who are supportive, you know, I create masterminds or join masterminds for that, for that very reason. So that I'm surrounded by people who are entrepreneurs who are positive and attitude who are looking to uplift, and share their skills and talents to help with the others in the group, because rising tides raise all ships. And so we share in that with each other, and help each other out and support each other on those things. Things that we won't share with other people in our lives. Because these people in this mastermind, get it, they are entrepreneurs, they're living it every day, they understand it, other people in my life might not get it, they might not understand my level of ambition, and what I'm up to in the world, and that's okay, I don't need them to, you know,
Michaela Light 53:37
that's sort of like if you were an Olympic athlete, wouldn't talk to somebody who isn't into that sport at all about what your dream is for running a four minute mile, because they'd be like, I can't even jog in half an hour, a mile, you know, and it's like, well, that's not really helpful to hear. So having a mastermind of other people who are have similar goals, and similar, you know, whatever might insets is very helpful. I think that's a great point. Now, I know that you've also gone a lot into the the science of mindset and the brain. And we talked about before this call about Joe just Dr. Joe dispenza. So maybe you could just briefly mention him and why that might be of interest to people listening.
Alaina Schwartz 54:28
Yeah, I'm a huge fan of Dr. Joe dispenza. Because he talks about everything that I'm talking about right now. And does it from a completely scientific perspective, um, which is really great for a lot of people, a lot of people you know, I'm sure that a lot of your audience is kind of Woo, but a lot of my audience is mixed. So some of my audience is very well. Some of them have been, you know, very logical and analytical and are just moving towards, you know, the more spiritual side of it. So being able to explain exactly what we're talking from a scientific perspective, at is amazing. And the other thing that that Dr. Joe is great at is providing meditations that help you access the quantum field so that you're living in that state more frequently in your life so that you're tapping into that, which is really helpful. So, you know, there's a bunch of great teachers who have a variety of different ways that they help people achieve that same thing and different things work for different people. So some people I've turned Dr. Joe on, don't resonate with him at all. And that's okay, you know, not everybody's for everybody. Um, and, but but he does have some amazing books, and resources that help people tap into, you know, the quantum field on a more consistent basis.
Michaela Light 55:47
Yeah, and he's got some great meditations too. So but you know, there are many guides and teachers out there. So if he doesn't resonate, find someone else who does. You know, or do your own investigation yourself, you know, don't have to have a guru or teacher at all you can. We're all infinite beings, living in human bodies.
Alaina Schwartz 56:13
Other thing, like, the thing that's really amazing is that, you know, when we're in stress, our brains become incoherent, like the compartments of our brain start stop talking to each other. And it's instead of being a community, they're compartmentalised. And the more that we our brains become coherent by moving into our parasympathetic nervous system, the more that we end up tapping into whole brain intelligence, and to when our brains are coherent than our bodies are coherent, then we are able, you know, to tap into those higher levels of intelligence, our brains literally become like an antenna, and can tap into like Infinite Intelligence, infinite intelligence, because there is no past present and future 30 knows, you know, what's in the future knows what's in your highest good knows what you're doing now, not only to get the result that you say you want, but how to do it in a way that's sustainable and really works for your highest good. So So being able to create that brain coherence, that whole brain intelligence allows us to tap into infinite universal intelligence, which, you know, allows us to, to, you know, probably access the intelligence of people, like, you know, Joe dispenza, even, you know, even people like Einstein. Absolutely.
Michaela Light 57:31
Yeah, I mean, I I write about in my books about having a spiritual advisory board and you put Joe dispenza or Einstein or whoever you want, or any aspect thereof, you know, if you don't like everything Einstein did and you only want his you know, genius solving physics problems, then you can add that to your advisory board. And the one of the ways to access that that you know, I'm sure some people have used is what would person x two what would Einstein do with this? What would Richard Branson do with this business problem? What would Jesus do is another way people have used this and you can pick whoever you want to ask that question. Or if you have people in a mastermind or you have a mentor or someone else you admire, you can say well what would they do? Or you could ask what would my future self do that has this you know $100,000 a month income what would she do you know, so many ways to access that intelligence?
Alaina Schwartz 58:35
I love that Yeah, the advisory board is is so key and you know, it's funny you can do an advisory board with as you were saying, the people you want to call in or access their certain intelligence or certain quality or characteristics of them as well as your higher self but one of the other things that I do with an advisory board is also all the different parts of yourself so you can have an advisory board with you know, your intelligence self and even your stupid self and your compassion itself. And your mean bitch self and your you know, whatever, and put them all in a room together and start asking questions and who can support you know, these other parts? So like if you're feeling like the insecure self, you know, then maybe it's the maybe it's the confidence self that supports it or maybe even it's the compassion itself that supports you know, the insecure self and and so that it you know, moves up from a level of insecurity to not be so insecure so you can do that as well with all the your own parts of yourself.
Michaela Light 59:38
I love that mean bitch. So she's quite handy sometimes. If if the polite self says no and the other person didn't hear then other self can, you know, make the message clearer. I usually try off by being kind and loving when I say no, but sometimes people don't hear you know,
Alaina Schwartz 1:00:00
Yeah.
Michaela Light 1:00:01
So yeah, I mean, it's interesting, you know, to look at who, who really are we, you know, if we if we strip away all these limiting beliefs, all these habits that we've accumulated probably through decades. You know, who who are we really do you think?
Alaina Schwartz 1:00:27
Oh, yeah. So I believe, you know, this whole life is truly a game for for universal intelligence, you know, a candle and Mr. million candles in the sun only knows itself as light but it cannot experience itself as light. And the only way that it can experience itself as light is to put it in a dualistic environment where there's also darkness. And so darkness and lighter are the same coin, they're not different. But we experience them in this, you know, in this polarity in this dualistic world as being different, but they're really not. And so I believe that we are all individuation of the Divine come here to experience different aspects of who we are by having different experiences. And it allows the be one and the all of which we all are, we're like revoke the wave, you know, we're a part of the universe, and we are the universe. And so we're a wave, and we're the ocean. And so we experience ourselves as the wave, but we also have the ocean inside of us as well. And when we get to tap and tap into that resource of being the universe, or being the ocean, I heard something really recently, that when they look at pictures, photographs of the brain, and all of the you know, blood vessels, and whatever, that it actually looks like the universe, it actually looks like a picture of the universe, which is no surprise that we have like many universes in our brain. So ultimately, we you know, where we're infinite beings in a body suit, you know, in a skin suit. And you know, when we start to really align ourselves with, with who we really are so much more is, our lives are so much sweeter, and so much easier, and so much more as possible.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:25
Wow.
Michaela Light 1:02:29
That is so fascinating. So if people want to find you online, what are the best ways to do that?
Alaina Schwartz 1:02:36
Yeah, thank you for asking. So they can find me through my website, which is www dot Elena schwarz.com. And I'm sure that'll be in the show notes.
Michaela Light 1:02:45
It will Yeah, along with all the other links you're gonna mention.
Alaina Schwartz 1:02:49
Yeah, some of the
other links they can, you can actually reach out to me directly and I will respond personally at support Atlanta shorts calm, if you want to find out like, I'd love to offer your audience. You know, the first five people who from your audience, free 30 minute sessions, if you know, you feel like you'd be an ideal client. For me, my ideal clients are six plus figure earners who are looking to scale their business and we're, you know, significantly less tap into all of the stuff that we're talking about. But you know, a free 30 minute, no pitch session where I'm just like, focused on helping you understand, like, what's in your way, what are your next steps. And then I also hang out a ton. I'm on a lot of social media, but a ton, particularly on LinkedIn. And so I put out a lot of content in the free content and a lot of podcasts. I offer a lot of value there. And so if you just search me Adelina Schwartz, on on LinkedIn, you'll find tons of juicy stuff there as well.
Michaela Light 1:03:45
Well, fabulous. Well, thanks so much for sharing all your thoughts on how to create abundance in our business by letting go the masculine paradigm of success and embracing both masculine and feminine in in what we do in creating our lives.
Alaina Schwartz 1:04:04
Yeah, it's been my absolute pleasure and honor. Thank you, Michaela.
